A form of prayer I use now and again is walking side by side with Jesus. My favorite place to walk is at Lazy F Camp and Retreat Center, along the back road past the cabins, the ice skating rink, the archery range, the challenge course. We stop halfway across the foot bridge, lean on the rail and watch the Manastash Creek dance. Jesus then asks me “how is it with your soul, my friend?” “How is it with your soul, sweet Cathy?”
Jesus loving my soul conjures up all kinds of emotion. What does it mean to have Jesus loving our souls? I refer to 1 Corinthians 13 for guidance. Often referred to as the Love Chapter, it is a set of instructions on how to love one another. I wonder what it would feel like if we replaced the word “love” with Jesus? Reading from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (The Voice) let’s try this on and see how it feels:
“Jesus is patient; Jesus is kind. Jesus isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag or strut about. There is no arrogance in Jesus; he’s never rude, crude, or indecent – he’s not self-absorbed. Jesus isn’t easily upset. Jesus doesn’t tally wrongs or celebrate injustice; but truth – yes, truth – is Jesus’ delight! Jesus puts up with anything and everything that comes along; he trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what. Jesus will never become obsolete.”
When I first read this scripture I was surprised at how personal it felt. I have always struggled with what following Jesus meant. I have the God thing down and the Holy Spirit, too. But my walk with Jesus has not come so easy, until I read this scripture in this way. Now I understand. In this post I’m going to expand on three of these love statements: patience, truth and endurance.
“Jesus is Patient!” Now when God was handing out qualities, he gave me an extra dose of patience. It happens to be one of my many amazing qualities! For the most part, I am able to simply let things unfold and I seem to have a sense about when to intervene. This used to drive my HR staff nuts. They were inclined to just jump in and take over when some poor supervisor was struggling with a personnel issue. My response was usually “NO!” Instead, let’s provide some resources and tools so the supervisor can learn to solve the problem themselves. Only when the issue or action was threatening the employee’s welfare or the organization’s legitimate interests, would I step in and steer the ship back on course.
I think Jesus knows just the right time to intervene. As we bumble along on this life’s journey, Jesus provides resources and tools to help us handle whatever is before us. And most of the time we get it right. But when we are on the brink of disaster, Jesus intervenes and helps us to right the ship. You never know how he will step in. Maybe it’s a person telling you a truth you don’t want to hear; maybe it is a heart attack reminding you that your body has limits; or maybe it is a voice that comes in the stillness of night. Whatever it is, it is perfectly timed and perfectly designed to get your attention.
My retirement was actually brought on by the elimination of my job. I learned this a year and a half before this would take effect – before my department would be absorbed into another and my director position would go away. The first year was tough. On the outside I continued to do my job – in fact in that year I did some of my best work. But on the inside I was a mess. I was completely victimized and when this victimization threatened to take root and carry me into a miserable retirement, Jesus intervened. I had six months left. He intervened in the guise of a brave Assistant City Attorney who challenged me on something I had said. It was perfectly timed and perfectly designed to get my attention. I remember God promising that if you will just relax and go with my plan for you, you will be made new. And, I was.
Another way that Jesus loves us is by preparing us to receive the truth. The scripture says: “…truth, yes, truth is Jesus’ delight.” Jesus delights in the truth. Now I know something about this. I have spent a lifetime from childhood to mature adulthood in dishonesty. I have lied, cheated, misrepresented, promised and not delivered, and exaggerated the truth. Throughout this lifetime of dishonesty, Jesus has always been working hard on my soul. There are lots of ways appears to me, but the three big ones are: guilt, disappointment, and damaging relationships. I have experienced all of these and more. Two years ago I began working with a Spiritual Director. Early on in our companioning, I had an epiphany. I figured out that if I wanted a deeper relationship with God, I would need to eliminate the things in my life that were not pleasing to God. Top of this embarrassingly long list was my dishonesty. In that moment of acknowledgement – of writing it down and confessing my dishonesty to another human being, the burden I carried for a lifetime lifted. I now understand the amazing power of truth.
I have worked hard the last two years to eliminate dishonesty from my life. For the most part, I’ve gotten it right. But occasionally I slip up. A year ago, I was working on an art project and I needed some jute (a natural cordage). I went to Lowes and picked up 5 spools. I went to the self-serve checkout. I scanned in the first 4 spools, no problem. But the last spool just didn’t seem to take, no matter what I did. There was no one around to help me. Finally, out of frustration I bagged up my jute, paid and went home. Well, I fussed about this for the rest of the day. I had paid for four and left with five. I remembered how dishonesty felt and I didn’t like it one bit. Jesus was still on the job! The next morning I prepared to return to Lowes to make it right. I had my coat on, jute and receipt in hand. I looked at the receipt and I had in fact paid for all 5 spools! I swear I could hear Jesus laughing.
Finally, Jesus’ love endures forever. To me this means that he never gives up on me, no matter what I do. Let’s read verse 7 again: “Jesus puts up with anything and everything that comes along; he trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what.” Talk about Jesus loving your soul. No matter what you do or how many times you do it, Jesus trusts, hopes, and endures forever. I don’t know about you, but I find this astonishing.
In thinking about how this enduring love has played out in my life I think of my mother. I was in junior high school and I stole some money from her. I could never hide anything from my mother – she always knew when there was something wrong. She allowed me to carry my guilt around for a couple weeks. Then finally she sat me down, looked at me and said: “Catzi, what’s wrong, honey?” Well, I spilled everything, sobbing all the while. She just listened. She didn’t get mad. She didn’t say she was disappointed. She didn’t punish me. She just took me in her arms and said “I love you so much.” Those words of love for me in that moment went forever. This is how I think of Jesus. He reaches into our souls and asks what’s wrong. He listens. He doesn’t get mad. He doesn’t tell us he’s disappointed. He doesn’t punish us. He just puts his arms around us and whispers in our ear: “I love you so very much.” And this love goes on forever.
You are walking side by side with Jesus. It is a companionable walk. Then Jesus turns to you and asks: “how is it with your soul, my friend?” You begin. He listens. AMEN!